I’m looking straight at it. This life of mine comes in waves of pressure that leave me numb and paralyzed afterward. I try and break the habit any way that I can. My walls are melting into the ground with all the pictures on the walls. I’m left with a dark mess that greats me when I first open my eyes in the morning. The blinds are shut but my window is open and I can hear the distant noise of everyday life. There’s cat lying right beside me and funnily enough it seems more miserable then I do. I lie awake for a while remembering where I am and I’m slow to get up and start my day. I open my netbook trying hard to find a good laugh. Usually I’m able to find humor in things others usually don’t but it’s a little different these days. I sit in a chair for a long time that’s facing a window not knowing what to do. Finally I can no longer take it. “If I stay here I’ll drown” I say to myself. I quickly go and grab Ryan’s skateboard. I emerge outside and the sunshine is unbearable. It’s a little too beautiful for me to handle. I start skating down the road as fast as I can, my legs thanking me for actually using them again. It’s a very tiring but rewarding experience and I instantly feel ten times better. I’m going pretty fast down the road looking at all the emptying houses, same model after another. There’s water running down the gutter and the reflection is almost blinding. I see no other person outside because everyone here has normal jobs and they are all at work. By now I’m riding on the other side of the neighborhood which goes in a circle. I take a look around for some owls I used to see all the time but they aren’t to be found. I’m starting to get really tired because I don’t normally skateboard. “This neighborhood is a lot fucken bigger than I remember.” Finally I’m near the street that I live on, my crumby old car being the landmark, a complete eyesore for this type of neighborhood. As I arrive, that great feeling I had starts to subside. I stare at the house I live in, and suddenly all these memories start to flood my head. I don’t want to go inside but I do. I sit back on the chair facing the window and I stare out.